"I Know Your Name"

Today, I finished my last clinical rotation at a local nursing home. For those of you who know me, you know that my passion in the nursing field is with the babies and mostly with the "beginnings of life." I've never really felt the calling to geriatrics. And, while I still do not feel called to work in the nursing home even after this rotation, I knew that God must have placed me there for a reason.

At times, the atmosphere at the nursing home is a depressing one. Room after room is filled with men and women who have experienced many things in life, some of which I cannot even fathom. Many feel lost and long to be in their own homes again. And, many of these precious people cannot even remember a few minutes ago, much less the important events of their lives. Many lie within their beds, unable to communicate and understand what is going on around them. Many times during this rotation I thought to myself, "God, why do they have to be like this? What is Your purpose for keeping them on this earth? It doesn't seem fair." Today, God chose to use a precious woman to show me one of His marvelous attributes and to express His love for me. He allowed me to be a part of a beautiful scene, one that speaks of the kind of God we serve.

As my partner and I began our care for the residents today, we came into the room of an elderly woman. We had been told that she did not like to be bathed, and that it would be a difficult task. As soon as the washcloth touched her skin, she looked at me with terror in her eyes and began to panic. Many would think it silly for someone to be afraid of a bath or even water, but I had no clue what she was feeling inside. I did not know what she was able to understand. All I knew was that her fear was real. When I saw this fear within her eyes, I felt such compassion for her. I know what fear is like. I may have never feared water before, but I have felt the grip of fear at times in my own walk of life. I held her hand, called her by her name, looked directly into her eyes, and said: "It's going to be okay. We are here to help you." She held tightly to my hand and nodded her head up and down. As long as I held her hand tightly and spoke softly to her, she was calm. She needed to feel loved. She needed to know that we cared for her and would not hurt her.

When I arrived home today, I began thinking about this beautiful scene. Isn't it like our own lives? Fear can be such a real thing. It can be paralyzing.....causing us to exchange peace for anxiety. Sometimes, I look back at the things that I used to fear and think how silly it was of me to even give the enemy such a foothold in my life. But, at that point in time, the fear was real. Before walking into the nursing home this morning, my devotions led me to the passage of Isaiah 44. The end of verse 1 states: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine." Verse 4 goes on to say: "Since you were precious in My sight,You have been honored, and I have loved you;" How neat it was that the verses I read this morning correlated with the truth I learned today. Just as I held the hand of a terrified woman this morning, so the mighty Hand of our Father holds our hand in the midst of paralyzing fear and pain. When the grip of fear overtakes you, when it feels more than you are able to bear, when hopelessness looms around you, do you choose to put your hand in His? The sovereign God of universe calls us by our name and takes our hand. I imagine Him by my side in those times of panic, whispering truth within my ears, overshadowing the lies from the enemy. Inspired by the words of Isaiah 44, I imagine God saying: "Fear not, My child. I love you. I am for you. I have called you by your name. I am here to help you. You are precious to me. It's going to be okay." That gives me chills. Oh, the mighty power of our God! That He would desire to comfort me, to love me, and to make His presence known in the midst of that grip of fear. As long as He is the Holder of my hand, fear cannot reign in my life. A calmness follows when I choose to focus on Him, rather than the worries and cares of life.

Thank You, Jesus, for Your promises to never forsake Your children. Thank You that You know us, and You call us by our name. We praise You for never-failing love. We praise You that even in the midst of hard times, we can overcome fear by putting our hand within Yours. It is then that You give the promise of peace, love, and hope for the journey. Amen!

Hannah Grace